The most disgusting thing you can be given in a bar

There is something you can be given in a bar that is so disgusting that the very sight of it makes me went to turn on my heel and leave. Something so repulsive that grown men recoil in horror and children start to cry.

I am speaking about the dreaded “Key to the Toilet”!

First of all, any bar that needs a key for it’s toilets is not a bar where you want to see what the kitchens look like and second of all you should never return to such a premises. Ever.

What is so vile that I have been driven to write this post you might ask? Where do I start?

Is it the fact that the bar is in such a bad area that the toilets are at risk of destruction from the mobbing locals? Is it because the key fob is normally the size of your head and you are expected to walk through the bar carrying it like a school punishment? Is it because once you get to the toilet, you have to put it down somewhere, but where can you put it? Where does that mean this key has been over they years?

It is all these things, but it is mostly because it then has to be carried out of the toilet by someone who may not have washed their hands (like it matters at this stage…) and replaced on the bar counter. Can anyone count how many health codes have been broken by now?

Anyone for a sandwich?

The key I was presented with today and only agreed to due to extreme needs:


9 thoughts on “The most disgusting thing you can be given in a bar

  1. Having to use a key to a filling station restroom makes me even more squeamish, and the condition of said restroom is inevitably bad. I’ve never been given a key to a bar restroom, but I do judge bars and restaurants in part by how well they keep up their restrooms (since I rarely get to see the kitchen!)

  2. OK, so I’m old enough to remember the dime slot locks on stall doors.

    Maybe now we can put a credit card swiper at the door just like the banks do for the ATM vestibules. Can you imagine??? HA!

  3. Pingback: The most disgusting thing you can be given in a bar « Emerald Business Systems Blog

  4. I am always suspicious why a key is needed for such occassions.

    The bar should encourage using the facilities so you have more room to drink.

    A key on a big statue is a blinking light to everyone and now they know where you are going. Good article

  5. a key to the toilet is a foreboding sing of the restroom conditions which is how most people judge bars, restaurants, coffee shops etc, according to extensive market research…the only place I recall having received a key to the toilet was McDo and this was to prevent people streaming in just for a pee šŸ™‚

  6. This is a spectacular, comedic and so true piece on the issue that some folks dread to discuss…”The Bathroom Key”…You do not know the realms of where the key goes once in someones possession in the bathroom cave…furthermore, hygiene…OMG!!! this is like a Seinfeld episode where Poppy goes in uses the john and comes out touching himself by straightening out his zipper and pants right in front of Jerry the customer…oh..yeah! he guarantees the most delicious duck (can’t remember distinctly the meal) he has ever tasted then he swipes his hands on his hair and so forth and heads for the door…what is wrong with this picture…Jerry was beside himself a little lost for words… where did the hand washing go by singing happy birthday to yourself…Well just imagine if there a key involved in this one how disgusting can that possibly be with urine, feces and any other bodily fluids that you can conjure up while in the confines of the so called privacy of the john…Much Kudos to you on your Blogg a man after my own brain…Luv it…keep on blogging will be checking in on you from time to time…Oh! and on that sandwich I will pass…as I bend down to take a closer look from afar at the Bar counter I can see the gloomy, slimy trails that the keys and finger prints left from the BR visit….Any peanut anyone?

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